Fabulous Journey...between scans

It is the day after. The day after I found out that my last MRI scan was clean for cancer. I continue to 'dance with NED (no evidence of disease)', as they say in the cancer world. It was a feeling I can't describe. Waiting, waiting, waiting to seemingly hear a result plan the rest of your life. You wonder, you think of every possible outcome and try to come up with a 'plan of action' so that you can somehow handle what might be told to you.

Then the day comes and you hear the voice. The surgeon calling... "scans looked fabulous". There is no evidence of cancer. You're clear for 6 more months. A huge relief...again. Then my mind turns, in the same thought, to those that I know that might not have 6 months to live. Such a dichotomy...this gift of life.

How can I describe this feeling; It's like I can inhale a bit deeper every time I receive these positive words. It's like what I used to feel like when I heard about a kidnapping in Afghanistan and then found out it wasn't one of my own team members...only to experience sadness for the team members that it did affect.

Celebrating what is today seems to remedy it all in my heart. Celebrating the gift that God has given me in today, for me...and for them. So, there were festivities that day. A day at the market, shaved ice, and a toast. The sky is still beautiful and there exists at least 4 shades of green these days on every street. Thus continues this fabulous journey we are on. I think I will take scans every 6 months...to experience life in High Definition :).


Lisa and I toasting to another F A B U L O U S scan!

The club

Last weekend, the end of May, I went to a retreat. Not an ordinary gathering of people...but an in-ordinary gathering of a group of 9 young women who have all been through breast cancer. Some had just turned 21 and others were in their young 30's. The specifics of the weekend are numerous but one of the things which stands out in my time with all of them is a deep understanding of one another. Just like when I am with other fellow over seas workers....being with people that have been through the trauma's of the last year a half... was a gift.

A gift beyond measure.



So, beyond some grand naps and re-revelations at the importance of rest IN my day as well as at the END of it....I made some friends that taught me a little bit more about this 'club' that I never wanted to join. The cancer club. And though I hope to NEVER walk back into treatment, there is a reality that my life has forever been changed by this experience; possibly having no children, always the chance of relapse, etc. Just knowing that these and others are out there that understand all of this and more...makes me feel a bit more sane, a bit more 'normal' in my own crazy world. :)

May God bring His healing and peace to each of their lives and give us a greater joy to shadow over any lingering grief. I can not imagine my life without the lessons and friends that have graced these past unexpected years.

Who would have EVER guessed?